You Alone Are Enough

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On Sunday evening one of my dear friends called me in pain. Someone she loves, and who she thought loved her in return, was silently communicating that what they shared was over. My friend was devastated. “I don’t know why he didn’t think I was good enough?” she asked to herself more so than she did to me.
During their relationship she was often told she was too much. That she laughed too much, that she loved too much, that she felt too much. It’s no wonder that she internalized those messages and repeated it at the very point where she saw no return.
Her question though made me very angry.
“Listen, Elise” I almost shouted, hoping that what I was saying  would sink in, “you alone are enough. You are not too much. You are enough!”
It’s only when I hung up the phone on Sunday that I began thinking about what I meant and how best I could communicate it because over the next few days, I felt I would be needed again.
‘You are enough’ meant that Elise was made to be who she was, on purpose. It was no mistake that she was this beautiful, this passionate or even this fearful, at this point. She was a woman existing in this place, at this time. And yes, it did not feel good. Now.
‘You are enough’ meant that as crappy as my friend of 17 years felt, she was in fact showing up and claiming her feelings as broken as they made her feel. It meant she would show up in her life every single day because she had people who depended on her. By doing so she was already enough.
‘You are enough’ meant Elise would continue to grow and change and continue to become, not because she was trying to prove or change herself but because, at age 45, she could finally be herself.

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