When last did you have a date with yourself? Last year, last week, maybe way back when? For many the answer is NEVER!
Whether you are married, single, or seeing a significant other, spending special time with yourself can be one of the most fulfilling and self-gratifying experiences you have. It’s so easy to get caught in equating having a good time with depending on another to be part of the occasion. But there is nothing wrong with re-connecting with who you are. Besides, who knows what you want and love more than yourself? You know your favourite types of movies flowers, foods, wine, chocolates, so why not treat yourself to a date with you.
There is no better pick me up than fresh flowers. The colours, the scent and sheer beauty can change the vibration of any space. If you have not received any recently, select some beautiful blooms for yourself. Have them delivered to your home or office and brighten-up your own day!
When planning your first date, you can begin with something as simple as cooking your favourite meal, or ordering in and opening a special bottle of wine that YOU deserve!
I know you may be thinking that it’s going to feel kind of weird eating alone. My advice is to play some of your favourite music, switch on a good TV series or movie. I love to binge on several back-to-back episodes of my favourite Netflix tv series. You know the ones you love but you’re too busy to keep up with each week.
When the pace of everyday life becomes so mundane we forget ourselves and also shelve the stuff we really enjoy to please others and fit everything in. Designing a date with yourself allows you to focus on doing something special for you. It also changes your mental perception of your ‘deserve level’. On my last date with myself, I ordered my favourite Chinese dishes, served it out on my best plate and ate it with my “guest’ cutlery and a glass of wine. I lit a fragrant candle and set the mood for an evening of ‘me time’. Some may think that this is lonely and pathetic, but for me it was divine. Just try it!
Here are a few pointers to really create a special experience:
• Think of what you would like if you were going on a real date and go for it! Prepare it yourself or better yet order for pick-up at a special restaurant
• No need to hang around in an old track pants or pair of boxer shorts – look nice and feel beautiful but comfortable
• If you only have a half hour or so to spare, have a coffee/tea date. Brew a special blend in your favourite cup, with well-deserved sweet treat. If you are worried about the awkward silence of being alone, use this short time to read an inspiring article or select a few quotes that resonate with what you are feeling inside.
Interruptions are no fun on any date so apply the same rules to the date with you. Put your phone on silent and savour this uninterrupted time.
Regardless of the time you have available, an evening, a day, or just an hour, make the experience special. Remember you want this to be so good, that the chance of a second date is a given.
When the date is over remember to thank yourself for every element that you enjoyed! It just takes one good date to begin a great relationship honouring you!
Natalie Alcantara
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My dates are nothing as wonderful as you described lol. I guess I should give those a shot???. My dates consist of visiting my favourite coffee shop, sipping my fave brew while reading a book. Or…. Doing a Tuesday movie marathon at Cinemas 8 where movies are half priced all day …. What can I say….. I’m a cheap date????
I do this all the time. It helps me to focus…away from the busyness of life. living and relationships..and just enjoy moments with me. Energized moments of pure blis with simple things such as having coffee at my favourite little coffee parlour or eating in or going out to eat. But that time is spent with moi.
I need to do this and I think the best time would be for my birthday next month.? thanks for this reminder that we matter and deserve special attention.