Your Stories Matter - Forward Forty

An Accidental Passion

Forward Forty has come at a time where I am poised for reinvention… Judette nailed it for me with her wrap-up on Why I Turned My Back on a Thriving Business: “The best thing I’ve realized is that it only takes a moment to know when something feels right (maybe months of thinking) and embrace a new direction in life.”

If I were to tell you about myself, one of the things I enjoy sharing as an ice breaker is that I am birthday twins with Michele Obama and Betty White—that puts me in pretty good company I like to think! At 44 however, as a woman, speaking of oneself, can be tremendously complex and multi-dimensional thanks to all the hats we wear. While a trailblazer or socialite I am not, I am always up for tea and talk with close family and friends. I own every book in the Barefoot Contessa collection companioned with “Naps” (Naparima Girls’ High School Cookbook) of course, and I surround myself with art done by my hubby and kids. When I’m in work mode, I’m focused and no-nonsense, but on cue I’ll not hesitate to break out in lose-your-voice decibels to most 80s music hits. Oh, and I love Mondays and early bird hours!

Forward Forty has come at a time where I am poised for reinvention… Judette nailed it for me with her wrap-up on Why I Turned My Back on a Thriving Business: “The best thing I’ve realized is that it only takes a moment to know when something feels right (maybe months of thinking) and embrace a new direction in life.”

Forward Forty has come at a time when I am poised for reinvention. An article posted just last month that really embodies where I am today. Judette nailed it for me with her wrap-up on Why I Turned My Back on a Thriving Business: “The best thing I’ve realized is that it only takes a moment to know when something feels right (and maybe months of thinking), to embrace a new direction in life.” For me, that something came in a moment I’ll never forget that happened about seven years ago. As a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) of three girls with two who were fully into toddlerhood, I started to think about what I wanted to do with the coming years of my life once they started school.

A couple years prior to that, I stepped out of corporate life to be at home full-time. While the economics and my availability to the little ones were primary drivers, the decision was a no brainer having left a job that literally sent me to the hospital. I believe myself to have pretty broad shoulders, but let me tell you, the stress was crushing, which inevitably took a toll on my health. Laying in a hospital bed from job-related stress is certainly cause for pause and in my book, justifies thoughts on a new career path.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am creative. I studied Visual Communications and even had early aspirations of being an architect—think George Constanza, lol! And so, although I worked as a career administrator/communications specialist/event planner my true passion and talent always rested in creating. There was nothing particularly remarkable about this day, it was a fairly normal one, as I think I was taking a shower or doing laundry when a very clear and purposeful utterance came to me and I spoke into the universe that I wanted to do something with my life that blended my creativity and eye for detail with my years of event planning.

At the time, I had no clue what that would be but from my lips to God’s ears as the saying goes. Not long after that, our two youngest girls’ birthdays were coming up and our eldest daughter suggested I make their cake. Cooking was always my thing, thanks to my Mom and many gifted cooks in my life, but baking, I had never given it a second thought. It may have had something to do with the brick bread I made one day, who knows but baking just never came naturally. But I was up for it and in my mind, settled for a simple 2-layered 8” round cake with frosting and sprinkles because what kid doesn’t like sprinkles, right? So, on a trip to Walmart my daughter spots a Wilton Castle Cake kit and says, let’s do this! After the initial, “what!? yuh mad!? how!?” I decided to go for it and bought the supplies. Sixteen hours later, fondant replaced frosting and this massive princess castle cake emerged.

That day the cake decorating bug gifted me with a VERY HARD bite and the rest is history. Over the years I’ve been learning my craft, absorbing knowledge from the industry’s cake masters and today I am the Owner and Principal Cake Designer of DMV Cake Art and poised to take it to another level. This time in my life represents a period of reinvention in the memoirs of my personal story and I’m really looking forward to how my 40’s shape up in this new and exciting direction and am thankful for the online support and mentorship forums like Forward Forty offer– the timing could not have been better.

I’m really looking forward to how my 40’s shape up in this new and exciting direction and am thankful for the online support and mentorship forums like Forward Forty… the timing could not have been better!

Work can mean so many different things to each person. As a woman who is a wife, mother, daughter, friend, volunteer, entrepreneur, employee, mentor, teacher, student (the list can go on to now include Forward Forty super fan, woohoo!!) that word “work” can be loaded and tricky and exciting and frustrating and rewarding all wrapped into a ball of experiences that have defined and shaped me over the years.

I’ve found that in my 40s I’m beginning this interesting awakening where my eyes are opening to just how remarkable women are and trying to find my place in a world so full of champions.

One common thread holds true through it all and it’s that my work has taught me resilience and to embrace life-long learning of not just what I do for work but also people. I’ve found that in my 40s I’m beginning this interesting awakening where my eyes are opening to just how remarkable women are and trying to find my place in a world so full of champions. That often leads to a juxtaposition that screams, “What have you been doing all this time!?” with a simultaneous cry of “OMG woman, do you ever stop!?” I guess I’m still in that place of self-discovery and direction.

But above all, I have gradually learned to be disciplined about work no matter what the task or project at hand may be. In earlier years, I was impatient and somewhat of a perfectionist which led to missteps. Now I tend to be very methodical, deliberate and communicative ensuring my standards are unwavering and consistent—this approach definitely bodes well with my cake business (and the kids’ homework). Still, procrastination can raise its ugly head from time to time but that’s what I love about Monday’s and early AM, the opportunity for a fresh start.

Cheers,

Marise Gibbs

Meeting a Rae of Sunshine!

Judette’s post struck a chord…the content was specific to skin care for persons living in the Caribbean, it was relevant, insightful and most…

Heraclitus of Ephesus, a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher, famous for his insistence on ever-present change as being the fundamental essence of the universe, as stated in the famous saying “No man ever steps in the same river twice” was actually quoted as saying “The only thing that is constant is change”.

My name is Rawati (pronounced Ray wah tee) and I am an almost 40-year old optimist trying to keep up with the only constant in life….change! Throughout my life people have had difficulty getting the pronunciation of my rather unique name. I used to enunciate it for them and say it’s Raaaay wah teeeee. Then sometime in my early teens, a good friend said “that’s too long, I’ll just call you Rae” and that’s how the cookie crumbled. I’m Rae, Rae -Rae, Golden Rae, Rae of sunshine….the list goes on. And yes… I answer to all the variations of my name.

I’m that girl who looks at the same movie tens of times and laughs at the jokes and cries at the sad scenes each time as if I’m seeing them for the first time. My favorite times are spent with dear friends over coffee or tea having a good laugh and talking about everything and nothing at all. I cherish the simple things in life the most…like watching the sunrise on the beach and the reflection of the sun setting while I drive home from work as the skies are painted in hues of orange. Mindfulness and gratitude are my mantras.

A couple years ago I came across these posts from Forward Forty on Facebook. They kept appearing on my news feeds when a friend kept liking the posts. One day, just out of curiosity I clicked on a post and it was about skin care and make-up. My first thoughts were… “hmmmm another superficial video on make-up” but by the end of the video I was thoroughly impressed and acknowledged that I needed to spend more time taking care of my skin.

Judette’s post struck a chord… the content was specific to skin care for persons living in the Caribbean, it was relevant, insightful and most significantly simple, inexpensive things we can do to care for our skin.

Since then I became hooked. I liked the page, I started following the activity on social media. I can’t highlight one particular event that has changed my focus because Forward Forty has been a continuous chain of motivational information on a daily basis. The broad spectrum of topics from skin care, health care, dressing for your body type, travel essentials, vacation destinations; the list goes on. The content is all very relevant and not specifically for persons in their forties. I have related to every bit of the content on Forward Forty in a very constructive way.

I can’t highlight one particular event that has changed my focus because Forward Forty has been a continuous chain of motivational information on daily basis… I have related to every bit of the content on Forward Forty in a very constructive way.

My highlight however, was meeting Judette about a month ago at Dianne’s tea shop one Sunday morning. I was there having brunch with cousins and she came in and sat at the table next to us. I introduced myself and had a lovely chat with her. It was the highlight of my month… not just week. Her warm, effervescent personality radiates into real life. I think she’s even more magnificent in person than on her blogs.

As an almost 40-year old, Forward Forty gives me that boost of confidence and the will to take the next step… for in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

Rae Heeraman

Daring to dream… How I turned my pessimism around.

I considered myself a realist but that was actually a cute word for pessimist. Over the years I changed my outlook and I’ve learned to dream more!

My name is Katyan Roach and I’m psychic! Well not really but I sometimes like making stuff up to break the ice that sometimes makes meeting new people a bit awkward. Honestly when asked to introduce myself, I’d like to be able to say that I’m a mother, an Entrepreneur, and that I’m happy and motivated to help those around me to live their best lives.

I considered myself a realist but that was actually a cute word for pessimist. Over the years I changed my outlook and I’ve learned to dream more!

In my younger days, I considered myself a realist but that was actually a cute word for pessimist. Over the years I changed my outlook and I’ve learned to dream more and one of my biggest dreams has been to own my own home.

FF featured the Vision Board, I thought wow what a great tool for bringing my vision to life.

Recently when FF featured the Vision Board, I thought wow what a great tool for bringing my vision to life. For as much the house was something I’ve always wanted, my focus was always on getting the financing. I never thought much about what it would look like. So the vision board now gives me a tool to visualize what I really want and although I do have moments where I still wonder if it’s possible, I have my board to remind me that anything is possible once I continue to allow myself to dream.

Forward Forty has really been like a breath of fresh air… a space where women can come together and feel encouraged, motivated and empowered

Forward Forty has really been like a breath of fresh air. I’m all for women embracing the aging process but even more so, I love seeing a space where women can come together and feel encouraged, motivated and empowered.

This is especially crucial in our very competitive and sometimes “dog eat dog” world and I believe that women must lift each other up and not pull each other down. Forward Forty embodies this and it’s a welcome change from the norm.

Katyan Roach

Live. Love. Laugh

…my own personal mantra in life is why I connected with Forward Forty. It represented the brightness and optimism in life that not everyone can achieve or experience because of the different levels of consciousness in life.

My name is Tsahai Benoit-Harriott and I call myself passionate, because that word and feeling can take you forward or hold you back in life. Just the sound of the word alone is intense, so imagine how it feels in a good way, then think of it in things that are displeasing to you. It can show you where your strength and weakness lies.

Growing up I disliked my name, because no one ever got it right, I was called various pronunciations and even made fun of, which as a young child made me feel different. Not knowing that different can be unique, that it stands out as unforgettable. As I got older and found out that my name stood out, I embraced it; as a matter of fact, it embraced me.

So when I introduce myself to someone who does not know me, my name, *Tsahai, is all I need to say. Then the questions are asked as to what kind of name is it? What does it mean? Can I have the spelling to use it for my next child? I let people form their own opinions of me without me telling them too much of who I think I am as a person, that way it confirms my beliefs in myself or tells me where I may fall short. That is the fun in listening and observation.

For a lot of people, women especially, as they reach their forties, it becomes a downhill slope from there. They seem to try to hold on to youth tighter than ever or give up, I have been there. I remember walking out one day to go to lunch, I happened to look into a car window and my reflection was not the usual youthful one looking back at me, I literally backed up and looked at myself again for a few seconds in horror, thinking that just yesterday I looked firm and free of lines, who is this? It really happened over night. It stayed in my mind to this day. I will never forget that turning point in my life. However, at this point in life, I had already found my ‘passion for life’ and it was not one thing in particular, but a feeling of gratitude and peace that would come over me at any point in time.

… my own personal mantra in life is why I connected with Forward Forty. It represented the brightness and optimism in life that not everyone can achieve or experience because of the different levels of consciousness in life.

Most times I would be out doors when I got that feeling. I wondered where that intense feeling came from, was it that my hormones were all balanced at that moment, was it that my spiritual closeness with God was right at the time, was I receiving a blessing? It was just such a peaceful feeling like a wave that was beautiful and accepting. This along with my own personal mantra in life is why I connected with Forward Forty. It represented the brightness and optimism in life that not everyone can achieve or experience because of the different levels of consciousness in life.

I always tell both my sons Terell, age 25, and Darion, age 17, to be conscious of everything around you, your environment, people, animals, your friends, how you think and what you think and the power you give to the words you speak.

I am such a believer in thinking, speaking and acting positive that I am constantly correcting my thoughts or words when the negative creeps in. As for speaking things into reality, the vision board is the same concept, one that I think everyone should embrace.

One thing I thought was a great idea that I am going to implement it in my life is the Vision Board, for some reason I rely on my ever-thoughtful busy brain to store everything, which does not work to my advantage all the time. I am such a believer in thinking, speaking and acting positive that I am constantly correcting my thoughts or words when the negative creeps in. As for speaking things into reality, the vision board is the same concept , one that I think everyone should embrace.

I love that saying- ‘Forward Forty’. It gives you the drive to embrace it and live it with confidence.

My favorite quote is simple, live, love, laugh. It just touches the three things that make life enjoyable. I didn’t know about that in my twenties, for some reason when most people enjoyed their twenties, my memory is either lost or I remember being fearful and uncertain in life, but that’s another story. I really started to live in my thirties and forties, by the way, I love that saying- ‘Forward Forty’. It gives you that drive to embrace it and live it with confidence. Smiles, colours, freedom, beauty and a healthy mind body and soul is something to achieve, and the best success ever that can give you that passion for life.

* Tsahai is an Ethiopian Original name. Meaning; morning star or bright star. Sam T.

Tsahai Benoit-Harriott

Rediscovering the woman you were and are about to become.

I absolutely loved the exploration of the definition of success that was put forward in the first episode.I absolutely loved the exploration of the definition of success that was put forward in the first episode.

I only discovered Forward Forty a few weeks ago and I absolutely loved the exploration of the definition of success that was put forward in the first episode of your online show by Juliette Petite. It’s made me think long and hard. Around the same time all that thinking started, I attended an Island Girls Rock sleep-over focused on creating positive rituals where I discovered the ANote2Self meditation journal by Alex Elle. I bought 2 and I’ve been doing that for 15 minutes every morning with the hubby. The result has been even more thinking about the definitions and rituals I’ve applied to myself in my life and how well they are truly serving me.

So long story here now… I used to be one of those people who had an excellent morning ritual that charged me up for the day. Whatever space was mine (and I moved a lot in my first few years in the UK) I made it my sanctuary. I ate well, had a personal trainer, walked as much as I could, devoted time and energy to reaching for my goals, yadda yadda. In short, things weren’t perfect but I did a lot of active self-care and self-love. Then I got married.

I love my husband completely and I often tell him loving him is one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. But when there is another person in your sanctuary/space then it’s a lot harder to stick to your rituals and routines if you don’t find a way to adjust. I didn’t. Loving and living with someone takes some getting used to. Before all I had to think about was me, but now there was a whole other personality, set of habits, set of rituals, concepts about food and cooking, etc. to get used to. I thought we knew each other well when we got married, but as we say in Trinidad & Tobago – see me come live with me… So I got very focused on that learning curve and finding ways to make my peace with the changes that came with being married that I didn’t anticipate. Just as things began to settle down, baby #1 arrived. Nobody was ready for that. Oh, we thought we were, but we were delusional! 20 months later baby #2 arrived and frankly at this point, if I managed to put on socks that matched I considered myself a success.

My son is now 6 and my daughter is 4 and they are the most wonderful little human beings in the world (no bias at all!) but it does feel at times like becoming a mother completely derailed me; not in a career sense, but emotionally and mentally. We live in the UK and my job, though not low paying by any stretch, just didn’t pay enough for me to afford to go back to work. We did the math and we’d actually lose money by the time childcare and travel were covered. So I stayed home and that probably made it even harder. I am not one of those mums who can live vicariously through her kids’ success and be happy (though God knows I tried!).
I feel like it took me 4 years to just crawl back into the land of being a functional adult, one who can do more than just be a mum. And another 2 years to start the spiritual, emotional, mental climb back to feeling confident, having personal dreams and goals, feeling like I, Stacey, just me (not wife, not mum) have something worthwhile to contribute to the world. It feels like that climb has only just begun and as I look around me and take stock of where I am now and where I am aiming to be, one of the biggest eye openers has been self-love, self-care, and being gentle with myself instead of ruthlessly cataloging my flaws and failures.

Celebrate these little successes because they are what make up the big success.

The hardest part of it all has been fighting my own notions of success. The picture of success that I painted in my head at the naive age of 16 still whips my 40-year-old self if I let it. I find myself actively reminding myself that success isn’t perfection (which is frankly unattainable, and probably boring).

Also, somewhere in my 30s, I was chatting with a friend and we had to laugh at each other. I was awed by how that girl could make money, amazing jobs, career opportunities and such fall out of the sky and into her hands while I felt my career trajectory was a hot mess. Meanwhile, she was busy marveling at how I could attract and manage deep relationships, stand strong spiritually and emotionally, be a ‘rock’ she called it, while she struggled to have successful relationships and keep herself centred in life’s emotional storms. Funny how we both had such success in one area but not the other. Fast forward to 40 and just this week a friend said “the last time I visited the UK (in May) you were busy preparing for an exhibition, this time you’re preparing for 3!” And you know, until he said that I hadn’t realised that actually, yes! My work is getting more visible, my art is reaching new audiences. It’s so silly getting hung up on these giant markers of success. Yes it would be great to earn lots of money, yes it would be great to have my work in a major museum, yes it would be great to have people lining up to buy or commission my artwork enough to warrant an assistant and apprentices, but really Stacey… Where were you last year and where are you this year? Girl you are a real bonafide, honest-to-God success! Celebrate these little successes because they are what make up the big success. One foot in front the other girl, and celebrate every step!

So the definition has changed again… and I think this is what Juliette was talking about. For me, success at age 40 is enjoying and building upon:

the well-mannered confident, intelligent, curious children I’m raising,
the strong marriage I’ve nurtured,
the lifelong friendships I’ve kept alive despite distance and busy-ness,
my return to art and evolution as an artist,
my new deeper appreciation and celebration of my Caribbean roots,
the opportunities I seize to use my art to improve my community,
my unique ability to capture a personality, their past challenges and future hopes and dreams on canvas without ever painting a face,
my recognition that the skills I possess as an artist have immense value for me and the betterment of my world
and so much more!

There are some parts of my 16 year old self that I would absolutely love to recapture:

my fearlessness,
my ability to dream stupidly big and wild,
my effortless connection to my creativity

but there are some parts of 16 year old me that I need to release and let go. You served me well then, but your time has now passed. Thanks eh, but ride out!

With all this new understanding and reconnecting and rejuvenating, I finally feel and know that I am on the rise. 40 feels like just the beginning of a decade of fabulousness to come and I cannot wait!

Well I saw your invitation to ‘interview’ and be included in the success stories and my first reaction was to laugh – Me? A success story? And then I mentally smacked myself on the hand and told myself off! Cue the internal monologue: Weren’t we just talking about this? Didn’t we agree to be gentle with yourself? Didn’t we agree to a new model of success? Do I need to write this down for you to remember? And one more time, stop cursing yourself, didn’t we just agree to be gentle with yourself? Stacey Leigh Hernandez Ross. Hmmf!

Well I think I’ve just found me A Mighty Woman website, it’s Forward Forty!

Then I promptly went to the Forward Forty website and wasn’t that an eye opener! I’d just been looking at Judette’s posts on LinkedIn and watching the FFTV episode on the Facebook page, I didn’t know there was all this going on! You know just yesterday I was talking about how brilliant the A Mighty Girl website is for helping parents to raise powerful, wonderful girls and lamenting that there wasn’t A Mighty Boy, A Mighty Woman and A Mighty Man website. Well I think I’ve just found me A Mighty Woman website, it’s Forward Forty! I shall be building this into my new morning ritual.

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You are as
Extraordinary as you
believe yourself to be.

You are as
Extraordinary as you
believe yourself to be.

You are as
Extraordinary as you
believe yourself to be.

An Accidental Passion

I’m really looking forward to how my 40’s shape up in this new and exciting direction and am thankful for the online support and mentorship forums like Forward Forty… the timing could not have been better!

Meeting a Rae of Sunshine!

Judette’s post struck a chord… the content was specific to skin care for persons living in the Caribbean, it was relevant, insightful and most significantly simple, inexpensive things we can do to care for our skin.

I can’t highlight one particular event that has changed my focus because Forward Forty has been a continuous chain of motivational information on daily basis… I have related to every bit of the content on Forward Forty in a very constructive way.

Daring to dream… How I turned my pessimism around.

I considered myself a realist but that was actually a cute word for pessimist. Over the years I changed my outlook and I’ve learned to dream more!

FF featured the Vision Board, I thought wow what a great tool for bringing my vision to life.

Forward Forty has really been like a breath of fresh air. I’m all for women embracing the aging process but even more so, I love seeing a space where women can come together and feel encouraged, motivated and empowered.

Live. Love. Laugh

… my own personal mantra in life is why I connected with Forward Forty. It represented the brightness and optimism in life that not everyone can achieve or experience because of the different levels of consciousness in life.

I am such a believer in thinking, speaking and acting positive that I am constantly correcting my thoughts or words when the negative creeps in. As for speaking things into reality, the vision board is the same concept, one that I think everyone should embrace.

I love that saying- ‘Forward Forty’. It gives you the drive to embrace it and live it with confidence.

Rediscovering the woman you were and are about to become.

I absolutely loved the exploration of the definition of success that was put forward in the first episode.I absolutely loved the exploration of the definition of success that was put forward in the first episode.

Celebrate these little successes because they are what make up the big success.

With all this new understanding and reconnecting and rejuvenating, I finally feel and know that I am on the rise. 40 feels like just the beginning of a decade of fabulousness to come and I cannot wait!

Well I think I’ve just found me A Mighty Woman website, it’s Forward Forty!

You are as Extraordinary as you believe yourself to be.

You are as Extraordinary as you believe yourself to be.

You are asExtraordinary as you believe yourself to be.

An Accidental Passion

I’m really looking forward to how my 40’s shape up in this new and exciting direction and am thankful for the online support and mentorship forums like Forward Forty… the timing could not have been better!

Meeting a Rae of Sunshine!

Judette’s post struck a chord… the content was specific to skin care for persons living in the Caribbean, it was relevant, insightful and most significantly simple, inexpensive things we can do to care for our skin.

I can’t highlight one particular event that has changed my focus because Forward Forty has been a continuous chain of motivational information on daily basis… I have related to every bit of the content on Forward Forty in a very constructive way.

Daring to dream… How I turned my pessimism around.

I considered myself a realist but that was actually a cute word for pessimist. Over the years I changed my outlook and I’ve learned to dream more!

FF featured the Vision Board, I thought wow what a great tool for bringing my vision to life.

Forward Forty has really been like a breath of fresh air. I’m all for women embracing the aging process but even more so, I love seeing a space where women can come together and feel encouraged, motivated and empowered.

Live. Love. Laugh

… my own personal mantra in life is why I connected with Forward Forty. It represented the brightness and optimism in life that not everyone can achieve or experience because of the different levels of consciousness in life.

I am such a believer in thinking, speaking and acting positive that I am constantly correcting my thoughts or words when the negative creeps in. As for speaking things into reality, the vision board is the same concept, one that I think everyone should embrace.

I love that saying- ‘Forward Forty’. It gives you the drive to embrace it and live it with confidence.

Rediscovering the woman you were and are about to become.

I absolutely loved the exploration of the definition of success that was put forward in the first episode.I absolutely loved the exploration of the definition of success that was put forward in the first episode.

Celebrate these little successes because they are what make up the big success.

With all this new understanding and reconnecting and rejuvenating, I finally feel and know that I am on the rise. 40 feels like just the beginning of a decade of fabulousness to come and I cannot wait!

Well I think I’ve just found me A Mighty Woman website, it’s Forward Forty!

You are as
Extraordinary as you
believe yourself to be.

You are as
Extraordinary as you
believe yourself to be.

You are as
Extraordinary as you
believe yourself to be.